Good Excuses to Get Off Work
What a pity we can't just tell the boss...
"I don't feel like work today. I hate it anyway and today I feel bored, tired, miserable and depressed. Not coming in would make me feel immediately happier and as an understanding boss I hope you agree".
The truth is he or she probably hates work just as much as you do. Watch how often managers take a little extra time off without much notice. Business trips, courses, important meetings. Yeah right.
Sadly we can not risk being honest. The average worker needs to find a good reason why today is not going to be a work day.
Here is a growing A-Z list of excuses for avoiding going in to work.
"I don't feel like work today. I hate it anyway and today I feel bored, tired, miserable and depressed. Not coming in would make me feel immediately happier and as an understanding boss I hope you agree".
The truth is he or she probably hates work just as much as you do. Watch how often managers take a little extra time off without much notice. Business trips, courses, important meetings. Yeah right.
Sadly we can not risk being honest. The average worker needs to find a good reason why today is not going to be a work day.
Here is a growing A-Z list of excuses for avoiding going in to work.
Appointments
The professional world works nine to five, Monday to Fridays. If you need to see a doctor, a dentist, a chartered surveyor, car mechanic, solicitor, banker - they often won't be available at the weekend or after five pm.
Most appointments can be deliberately organised to be within a working day meaning you have to take the day off.
A quick excuse for an absent without leave day is to say you made the appointment and forgot to let work know. There is a free day right there. Woohoo!
Most appointments can be deliberately organised to be within a working day meaning you have to take the day off.
A quick excuse for an absent without leave day is to say you made the appointment and forgot to let work know. There is a free day right there. Woohoo!
Brief Illness
There are many types of illness but most of them will lead to further questions on your return.
"Do you feel better?"
"I had that and took an aspirin"
"You don't look ill"
Ideally you really will be ill although not badly of course. A headache or a cold, perhaps a stomach bug. That makes it easy to carry off on your return. You were ill, you took time off, now you are better.
"Do you feel better?"
"I had that and took an aspirin"
"You don't look ill"
Ideally you really will be ill although not badly of course. A headache or a cold, perhaps a stomach bug. That makes it easy to carry off on your return. You were ill, you took time off, now you are better.
Car Problems
A flat tire is good. Three flat tires a week - less so.
Running out of petrol is OK but stupid.
Anything else can lead to problems. You will need to be specific about details especially if your boss happens to be a car enthusiast. Why couldn't they fix it? How did it happen?
Missing a day of work due to car problems softens the pain of paying the bill. You got a day off!
Running out of petrol is OK but stupid.
Anything else can lead to problems. You will need to be specific about details especially if your boss happens to be a car enthusiast. Why couldn't they fix it? How did it happen?
Missing a day of work due to car problems softens the pain of paying the bill. You got a day off!
Catch Illness From Colleagues
If there is a bug going round your workplace then catch it.
Kiss people, cuddle up to them, share their food and saliva.
Not really. Avoid them at all costs and use their sickness reason as your own excuse for non-attendance.
If you do eventually catch it for real you can always say you came back to work too early - being the hero that you are.
Kiss people, cuddle up to them, share their food and saliva.
Not really. Avoid them at all costs and use their sickness reason as your own excuse for non-attendance.
If you do eventually catch it for real you can always say you came back to work too early - being the hero that you are.
Domestic Grief
If your boss is divorced or unsettled they may be able to sympathise with a story of problems at home. A huge row leading to an all-night quarrel or sleeping in the spare room, hotel, at your mother's.
Marital disharmony is an understandable reason for finding work one of your least concerns.
This might be a bit much to fake if you are just looking for a casual duvet day.
Marital disharmony is an understandable reason for finding work one of your least concerns.
This might be a bit much to fake if you are just looking for a casual duvet day.
Election Night
Some years the election seems closer, more exciting or important than others. Having decided to stay up for just an hour or so - you end up watching hours of rolling news and celebrating the results. Losers normally go to bed early.
If your boss has the same political outlook as you the up all night election excuse might work.
If your side won and his didn't it would be best to struggle in and try not to gloat.
If your boss has the same political outlook as you the up all night election excuse might work.
If your side won and his didn't it would be best to struggle in and try not to gloat.
Email Sick Note
In ancient times before email and the internet people used what was called a telephone to communicate.
They would ring work and try to sound genuinely ill.
Even if they really were ill they would still need to cough at least twice during the call so the employer knew they were not pretending.
With the new and improved methods of letting work know you will be absent it is simply a matter of finding a sick enough looking emoji to add to your mail.
Thanks internet!
They would ring work and try to sound genuinely ill.
Even if they really were ill they would still need to cough at least twice during the call so the employer knew they were not pretending.
With the new and improved methods of letting work know you will be absent it is simply a matter of finding a sick enough looking emoji to add to your mail.
Thanks internet!
Hangover
Although a hangover may be one of the most likely reasons you do not feel like going in to work - it is also one of the worst excuses to make.
Straight away your boss is going to think you are unreliable or have a drink problem.
A hangover means you got carried away with your fun and didn't stop to think through the consequences for the morning after. It really is no sort of reason at all for non attendance at work.
Straight away your boss is going to think you are unreliable or have a drink problem.
A hangover means you got carried away with your fun and didn't stop to think through the consequences for the morning after. It really is no sort of reason at all for non attendance at work.
Home Emergencies
The boiler packing up is a top one but that happens once every ten years. Sod's law you will use the excuse the month before it really does pack up.
Burst pipes are good as are other major failures that mean your life has temporarily fallen apart until the plumber or electrician turn up.
It is important to keep the story to its minimum. A complex tale about being burgled - which is a good excuse - can be hard to maintain.
A football through your window is a reasonable kind of excuse for needing time off. Whereas a brick through your window would take a bit more explaining.
Horse not drinking water is a common problem but requires a sympathetic ear from your manager.
Burst pipes are good as are other major failures that mean your life has temporarily fallen apart until the plumber or electrician turn up.
It is important to keep the story to its minimum. A complex tale about being burgled - which is a good excuse - can be hard to maintain.
A football through your window is a reasonable kind of excuse for needing time off. Whereas a brick through your window would take a bit more explaining.
Horse not drinking water is a common problem but requires a sympathetic ear from your manager.
Lost Keys
Losing keys is a good reason for not going in to the office.
If you lose the keys to your accommodation you will be unable to lock up and run the risk of people stealing your stuff or moving in and claiming squatter's rights. It means finding the keys or hiring an emergency locksmith. Expensive and time-consuming.
If it is the keys to your car, bike, bicycle - you have no means of transport.
Now all you need is a good cover story as to where the keys were when you eventually found them - and why it took ALL day to discover they were in your spare wedding suit which was at the dry-cleaners.
If you lose the keys to your accommodation you will be unable to lock up and run the risk of people stealing your stuff or moving in and claiming squatter's rights. It means finding the keys or hiring an emergency locksmith. Expensive and time-consuming.
If it is the keys to your car, bike, bicycle - you have no means of transport.
Now all you need is a good cover story as to where the keys were when you eventually found them - and why it took ALL day to discover they were in your spare wedding suit which was at the dry-cleaners.
Non Specific Excuses
If you can't come up with a valid reason here are a few useful phrases.
It's flared up again
I'm feeling under the weather
It's personal
You wouldn't believe me if I told you
I've had a run of bad luck
I can be no more than ten feet from a toilet at all times
It's flared up again
I'm feeling under the weather
It's personal
You wouldn't believe me if I told you
I've had a run of bad luck
I can be no more than ten feet from a toilet at all times
Overslept
The alarm call in the morning is one of the reminders in life that you are a worker. No laying in bed for you or an extra thirty minutes of half-dream half-wake time.
An excuse for not coming in might be you forgot to set the alarm and missed the bus. The only bus all day long and this is a one-off.
You are not the sort of worker who cannot get up in the morning because you were so drunk last night the alarm did not get set.
It is a poor excuse to be used sparingly.
An excuse for not coming in might be you forgot to set the alarm and missed the bus. The only bus all day long and this is a one-off.
You are not the sort of worker who cannot get up in the morning because you were so drunk last night the alarm did not get set.
It is a poor excuse to be used sparingly.
Planning
A day off without leave is made easier with a little preparation beforehand. Plant the thought in the minds of your fellow workers before your absence.
Look sad and ill.
Mention the damn car / boiler / wife playing up again.
Cough and splutter at regular intervals. Suck cough sweets - the more pungent the better.
Complain more than usual.
Take frequent toilet visits and warn others to "leave it a while" before entering.
The idea is to use office colleagues to pass the message on to your boss when he says "That loser X is off AGAIN today".
On rare occasions they might support you being off sick. "He looked ill yesterday, his wife is awful, etc."
Don't bank on it.
Look sad and ill.
Mention the damn car / boiler / wife playing up again.
Cough and splutter at regular intervals. Suck cough sweets - the more pungent the better.
Complain more than usual.
Take frequent toilet visits and warn others to "leave it a while" before entering.
The idea is to use office colleagues to pass the message on to your boss when he says "That loser X is off AGAIN today".
On rare occasions they might support you being off sick. "He looked ill yesterday, his wife is awful, etc."
Don't bank on it.
Quit!
If you find yourself looking for excuses to avoid work maybe it is time to call time on it. Move on, do something else, leave it behind.
Regular and Repeatable Illness
Establishing an ongoing problem is ideal for the employee who needs regular impromptu breaks from work. It also saves thinking up ever more odd and bizarre reasons for failure to get to work.
Here are some debilitating illnesses which can offer a perfect alibi once established.
Back Pain
Back pain is real and reoccurring. It can occur through physical damage or stress. It is also completely invisible. People will sympathise and understand - particularly if they have suffered themselves.
Migraine
This is another frequent and random problem which guarantees at the very least a morning off and a work from home afternoon.
Stress
Stress can be a long-term and serious problem. There are no outward symptoms but it is a perfectly valid reason to take weeks at a time away from the workplace. With a diagnosis from the doctor of course.
Upset Stomach
It is amazing how many of these illnesses are caused by stress. Or maybe a bad curry. The upset stomach is an ideal and immediate one-day off excuse.
Here are some debilitating illnesses which can offer a perfect alibi once established.
Back Pain
Back pain is real and reoccurring. It can occur through physical damage or stress. It is also completely invisible. People will sympathise and understand - particularly if they have suffered themselves.
Migraine
This is another frequent and random problem which guarantees at the very least a morning off and a work from home afternoon.
Stress
Stress can be a long-term and serious problem. There are no outward symptoms but it is a perfectly valid reason to take weeks at a time away from the workplace. With a diagnosis from the doctor of course.
Upset Stomach
It is amazing how many of these illnesses are caused by stress. Or maybe a bad curry. The upset stomach is an ideal and immediate one-day off excuse.
Sick Pet
It is perfectly understandable and reasonable in my opinion to place pets - or anything really - above the requirements of work.
But not to fake it. If they genuinely need you then fine. That sort of reason for a day off should be kept for when it is a real emergency.
If you had a free day off and your pet was ill the following day the guilt would weigh quite heavy.
I suppose you could say the neighbour's pet was ill or you found a sick cat in the road but that is a bit of a sympathy stretch - even for an animal loving boss.
But not to fake it. If they genuinely need you then fine. That sort of reason for a day off should be kept for when it is a real emergency.
If you had a free day off and your pet was ill the following day the guilt would weigh quite heavy.
I suppose you could say the neighbour's pet was ill or you found a sick cat in the road but that is a bit of a sympathy stretch - even for an animal loving boss.
Sick Relative or Partner
Easier to fake than your own sickness is the illness of someone else that you need to care for. That way you don't need to pretend to be ill yourself.
Using other people to cover for your lies is not the most positive of behaviours but hey - you got a day off.
Using other people to cover for your lies is not the most positive of behaviours but hey - you got a day off.
Tell The Truth
If you are near the end of your employment it might be simpler just to say how you feel.
Ring, ring.
"Hi. Is that Mr. Boss? I woke up this morning and nearly came in. Honest. But it is a nice day here and I am having a late breakfast. I thought about the prospect of reading urgent and aggressive emails, listening to boring people talking rubbish and sitting at a desk all day and you know what?
I decided best not. Maybe see you tomorrow."
Someone once said "Honesty is the best policy" although they were obviously an idiot.
Ring, ring.
"Hi. Is that Mr. Boss? I woke up this morning and nearly came in. Honest. But it is a nice day here and I am having a late breakfast. I thought about the prospect of reading urgent and aggressive emails, listening to boring people talking rubbish and sitting at a desk all day and you know what?
I decided best not. Maybe see you tomorrow."
Someone once said "Honesty is the best policy" although they were obviously an idiot.
Toothache
A tooth emergency can come on quickly without notice. A lost filling, abscess - tooth pain can be an immediate interrruption to normal life. It means booking emergency dental treatment and looking sad the next day when you return to work.
Wincing when you drink coffee may be enough to convince fellow workers your day off was genuine.
Wincing when you drink coffee may be enough to convince fellow workers your day off was genuine.
Weather Extremes
Occasional extreme weather events are flagged up by the news services well in advance. Commuters are sometimes advised to stay at home and not to travel.
The reluctant worker can look out of the window and see possibilities. Heavy snow, fallen trees, high winds, flooding - any of these could have badly affected where you live.
Email work, apologise and enjoy an impromptu vacation day.
The reluctant worker can look out of the window and see possibilities. Heavy snow, fallen trees, high winds, flooding - any of these could have badly affected where you live.
Email work, apologise and enjoy an impromptu vacation day.
Working From Home
They might fall for it.
Email in and tell your colleagues you decided to work from home today so you can focus on an important and time-sensitive task.
Do not tell them you plan to sit around in your pyjamas all day browsing the internet and updating your Facebook status.
If you try to pull a work-from-home day remember to check your work email every so often to keep up the appearance of working.
Skype is in danger of ruining this ploy. It means you may need to brush your hair and dress the top-half of your body.
Email in and tell your colleagues you decided to work from home today so you can focus on an important and time-sensitive task.
Do not tell them you plan to sit around in your pyjamas all day browsing the internet and updating your Facebook status.
If you try to pull a work-from-home day remember to check your work email every so often to keep up the appearance of working.
Skype is in danger of ruining this ploy. It means you may need to brush your hair and dress the top-half of your body.
No More Excuses
That is all the reasons on this page.
Now contact work and let them know which one you will be using.
Then kick back and enjoy some precious free time.
Now contact work and let them know which one you will be using.
Then kick back and enjoy some precious free time.