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BMW - The Best Car Money Can Buy

I have been in the motor trade for almost forty years now (ed: no you haven't) and I have to say the BMW is a fantastic motor car.

She is a beauty is an overused expression.  When applied to a Beemer it is entirely appropriate.

From the moment you see a BMW you know that here is a luxury automobile - a real driver’s car.

Inside will be a man or sometimes even a woman of taste, refinement and a need to drive the very best car available on the roads today.

You can keep your Mercedes or Audi cars, and all the Japanese imitations – the BMW is at the top end of desirable motors.

​Own a BMW and you are part of a select breed of motorist – a man who does not compromise on quality and sheer driving enjoyment.
Teslas are driven by sandal-wearing tree-huggers

A Brief History of BMW

BMW or Bavarian Motor Works was founded in Germany in 1916 originally making aircraft. They started making motorcycles in the early 1920’s (and they are fabulous too), and finally cars in about 1928.

They have been creating beautifully engineered cars ever since, and gone through the usual business tie ups that major car manufacturers do from time to time, but without ever sacrificing what makes them a cut above the others.

BMW also make Mini’s and own Rolls-Royce – but I wouldn’t swap a Beemer for either of those.

​That's enough history - ed:

Say What You Like About The Germans

Say what you like but they do know how to make a damn fine motor car.

Attention to detail, hard work and a single-minded determination to be the very best.  This ethic has taken them to the top spot in Europe - the Uber Nation. 

ed: You can't say what you like.
BMW.  It's not a Prius

What Is Special About a BMW?

If you have to ask then you haven’t driven one.

Sure they look good, expensive even, and you can appreciate the superb workmanship outside and in.

But once you enter the car and hear the clunk of the door behind, settle into the ergonomically designed heated leather seats (optional) and start her up – now you might get the idea.

Engage a gear, doesn’t matter which – great pulling power for most models – and head out onto the road, or test track as we BMW drivers like to think of it.

Feel that smooth engine do its work, listen to the quiet inside (unless you have the Blaupunkt Maxo Knob stereo turned up) and surge forward in a hiss of ozone destroying gases.

BMW are one of the best in Europe at passing the silly emission tests - another plus point to irritate the eco warriors.

King of the Road in a Beemer

The BMW is instantly recognisable from the kidney shaped grille on the front plus badges, and the badges on the back. Every other driver on the road knows what that means – power, money and a certain get out of my way attitude that comes from ownership.

With the acquisition of this fine motor car comes a knowledge that you are now a member of the BMW drivers club – a select group of people to whom normal road courtesies no longer apply.

And why should rules and regulations apply when you have money?

Courtesy is for cheaper cars – after you, no please after you – well not in the Beemer.

Get out of my way, and get out of my way now is the BMW driver’s motto. The car is expressly designed to whisk you from A to B, without bothering about whether C and D happen to be out for a Sunday cruise.

​Pedestrians, cyclists, mothers with prams, other road users in their little runabouts – they all make way for the Bavarian Super Car which is heading rapidly towards them. These cars are not made to hang about in the slow lane – they are the driver’s car for driving hard – so watch out!

I Can't Afford a BMW

Please ​stop whinging.  No one likes a loser.  Not owning a BMW means giving up on ambition, enjoyment, the things that make us what we are.

Everyone can afford a BMW.

Sure, maybe not a brand new one, but these babies go on forever.  You can buy a really good looking BMW for much less than you think and if you want extra prestige just slap a personalised plate on it.

Few people will know how old it really is and you have yourself a top class driving machine for less than the cost of some poxy little Fiat runabout or similar.

Or there are any number of finance and credit deals available of course, and if you end in a spot of hassle with your local loan shark – just drive round there in your car, they’ll soon shut up.  A BMW inspires confidence in you and instils terror in them. Remember that when you get one. You’re the daddy now.

Ideal For Kerb Crawling

The BMW low emissions and gearing make this car ideal for a slow drive through the red light tourist spots.

The badge says "Here is a man with money" and is guaranteed to get you some attention.  For comparison - try cruising these areas in a crappy Toyota and see what kind of night you have.

Set the Sat-nav to the "circle for a while" setting and listen to some cool sounds while you sample the pavement delights.

BMW.  For the man who wants a little bit extra in life.

What's My Angle?

I have no particular angle; this is purely objective analysis on my part.  Sure, I run a BMW dealers but that has nothing to do with any recommendation I might make.

If I thought the poxy Fiat was better then I would say so.  I am not the sort of car dealer who says their car is better just because that’s their business and they need to make a few quid.  One thing the BMW badge means to me is honesty – it is what it is and I am what I am.

In any case, I am sure you are not the sort of schmuck that would take anybody's word for it.

Get out there. Find a BMW. Take her for a test drive. You won’t be asking any more questions.

Why?

Because you’ll know the answer.

​She’s the best car you can buy.

Car Dealer's Joke

How many car dealers does it take to change a light bulb?

Let me run the figures through a calculator and I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

BMW Marketing Update

Mark Ewbie, the author of this piece, is no longer employed by BMW.
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words and pics by Mark Ewbie © 2019

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