Fart Puns and Jokes for a Windy Day
A page of fart jokes, puns, cartoons and anything humorously fart-related.
Somewhere in the world a man farts every second. That is a major cause of greenhouse gas emissions. It is risking human existence on Planet Earth and it pongs.
We need to find that man and stop him.
Somewhere in the world a man farts every second. That is a major cause of greenhouse gas emissions. It is risking human existence on Planet Earth and it pongs.
We need to find that man and stop him.
This collection of fart gags is a bit smelly. Some of the jokes are old but they got some hang time.
Mostly it is hot air mixed with the remains of last nights baked bean casserole. You might want to open a window.
Hold your nose, grab an air freshener and ease into a set of puns followed by a variety of fart-related humor in an A-Z sequence.
Mostly it is hot air mixed with the remains of last nights baked bean casserole. You might want to open a window.
Hold your nose, grab an air freshener and ease into a set of puns followed by a variety of fart-related humor in an A-Z sequence.
Fart Puns
aggressive farting - gaslighting
burial for ex-farter - paid respects to the dearly defarted
bystanders enveloped in fart cloud - coflatural damage
call out to a departing fart - flat-u-later
cook food that gives you wind - gastronomy
creative nonsense - arty-farty
fart delivered - fartogram
fart in increasing amounts - excremental
farting rockers - gastric band
farty tennis - ping-pong
fear of farting in high places - fartigo
freshen up a toilet with pooh pourri
nice fart - conflatulations
smelly store - Walfart
someone who maps farts - fartographer
special room for farting - toot suite
study of farts - fartology
trod on a fart - stepped on the gas
two farts in love - inflatulated
burial for ex-farter - paid respects to the dearly defarted
bystanders enveloped in fart cloud - coflatural damage
call out to a departing fart - flat-u-later
cook food that gives you wind - gastronomy
creative nonsense - arty-farty
fart delivered - fartogram
fart in increasing amounts - excremental
farting rockers - gastric band
farty tennis - ping-pong
fear of farting in high places - fartigo
freshen up a toilet with pooh pourri
nice fart - conflatulations
smelly store - Walfart
someone who maps farts - fartographer
special room for farting - toot suite
study of farts - fartology
trod on a fart - stepped on the gas
two farts in love - inflatulated
Brain Fart
Got to love the English language when it comes up with expressions like brain fart.
Pretty obvious what it means but much harder to stop it happening. Not saying anything in company is one possible cure for it.
Can strike at any time without warning especially on first dates, meeting her parents or job interviews.
Pretty obvious what it means but much harder to stop it happening. Not saying anything in company is one possible cure for it.
Can strike at any time without warning especially on first dates, meeting her parents or job interviews.
Classic Fart Joke
A sophisticated dinner party and the guests have enjoyed an excellent meal with relaxed and intelligent conversation.
A male guest lets out a triumphant loud and prolonged fart. The man of the house is appalled.
"How dare you fart in front of my wife" he says.
"Sorry" says guest. "I didn't know it was her turn".
A male guest lets out a triumphant loud and prolonged fart. The man of the house is appalled.
"How dare you fart in front of my wife" he says.
"Sorry" says guest. "I didn't know it was her turn".
Expressions for Breaking Wind
Better out than in
Cut the cheese
Ease and squeeze
Farty on dude
He who smelt it... dealt it
Silent but violent
Thar she blows
Cut the cheese
Ease and squeeze
Farty on dude
He who smelt it... dealt it
Silent but violent
Thar she blows
Famous Farters
Fart Simpson - The Simpsons
Fartacus - gladiator
Fartful Dodger - Oliver Twist character
Fartastic Four - superheroes
Mary Ploppins - flatulent British nanny
Poo Fighters - rock band
Rene DesFartes - philosopher
Saint Fartholomew - patron Saint of farting
Tootankhamun - Pharaoh
Winnie The Pooh - yellow bear
Fartacus - gladiator
Fartful Dodger - Oliver Twist character
Fartastic Four - superheroes
Mary Ploppins - flatulent British nanny
Poo Fighters - rock band
Rene DesFartes - philosopher
Saint Fartholomew - patron Saint of farting
Tootankhamun - Pharaoh
Winnie The Pooh - yellow bear
Fart Film Names
Blazing Saddles - the campfire bean eating scene
The Fart and the Furious - fast cars
The GodFarter - Mafia stuff
The Fartist - silent movie, cute dog
Fartastic Four - comic book plots
The Fartian - man eats too many potatoes
The Shape of Farts - cloud shaped mostly
A Mighty Wind - folk mocumentary from the Spinal Tap team
Windy Woman - superhero
The Fart and the Furious - fast cars
The GodFarter - Mafia stuff
The Fartist - silent movie, cute dog
Fartastic Four - comic book plots
The Fartian - man eats too many potatoes
The Shape of Farts - cloud shaped mostly
A Mighty Wind - folk mocumentary from the Spinal Tap team
Windy Woman - superhero
Farting Duck
People demanded a picture of a farting duck on this page and were outraged when one was not immediately provided.
A Twitter storm erupted under the hashtag #duckfart. I was accused of being anti-duck, duck phobic and even a duck denier.
After a stream of duck related criticism the image below was created. It is available on a variety of cool gift product.
All proceeds to the duck rescue center which is owned and operated by me. There are no ducks in the sanctuary yet as I am allergic to them.
A Twitter storm erupted under the hashtag #duckfart. I was accused of being anti-duck, duck phobic and even a duck denier.
After a stream of duck related criticism the image below was created. It is available on a variety of cool gift product.
All proceeds to the duck rescue center which is owned and operated by me. There are no ducks in the sanctuary yet as I am allergic to them.
Literature for Old Farts
Fart Proudly - Benjamin Franklin
Gone With The Wind
Wind In The Willows
Gone With The Wind
Wind In The Willows
Places
Fart Knox
Hong Pong
The Windy City - Chicago
Hong Pong
The Windy City - Chicago
Political Farts
We all know politicians are full of wind. Some of it toxic. Most of it noxious.
So here is a rainbow fart to sum up today's political nonsense.
So here is a rainbow fart to sum up today's political nonsense.
Poor Cat
I had been eating baked beans and hazelnuts all evening and the gas built up. I bent over, farted and a hazelnut shot out and killed the cat.
Pull My Finger Fart Gag
If you feel a fart approaching here is a great trick to play on people. Suitable for any occasion - school, weddings, family get togethers.
Choose an innocent stooge and ask them to pull your finger. If they have not been a victim to this before they will look puzzled. Offer them a finger, point at them basically, and as they pull it do your best loud fart.
If you misjudge this and soil yourself then the joke is on you.
Choose an innocent stooge and ask them to pull your finger. If they have not been a victim to this before they will look puzzled. Offer them a finger, point at them basically, and as they pull it do your best loud fart.
If you misjudge this and soil yourself then the joke is on you.
Quotes
Farting is such sweet sorrow - Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
Social Farts
Buzzfart - 20 best farts ad nauseum
eFart - second hand farts
FartBook - share them with friends
Fartify - subscribe for downloadable celebrity farts
Instafart - pictures!
LinkedFart - blow off about your triumphs
Poogle - delve into the web's dirty business
Reddit - exchange farts in a gas-filled echo chamber
SnapFart - add captions to your best ones
Windipedia - long-winded old farts
eFart - second hand farts
FartBook - share them with friends
Fartify - subscribe for downloadable celebrity farts
Instafart - pictures!
LinkedFart - blow off about your triumphs
Poogle - delve into the web's dirty business
Reddit - exchange farts in a gas-filled echo chamber
SnapFart - add captions to your best ones
Windipedia - long-winded old farts
Songs About Farts
Life's A Gas - T Rex
Just The Poo Of Us - Bill Withers
Plop Muzik - M
The Pong and Windy Road - Beatles (Let It Be)
Total Eclipse of the Fart - Bonnie Tyler
Just The Poo Of Us - Bill Withers
Plop Muzik - M
The Pong and Windy Road - Beatles (Let It Be)
Total Eclipse of the Fart - Bonnie Tyler
Stop That Fart
A man and woman are talking. Our man lets a snorter go. As the smell wafts towards the woman she says "Stop that" to the man.
The man, eager to be helpful, says "Sure. Which way did it go?"
The man, eager to be helpful, says "Sure. Which way did it go?"
The Girlfriend's Parents
Went to pick up new girlfriend from her parent's house. Invited in to living room. Sat on chair next to large dog.
I could feel some gas building. No chance of keeping it in so I let a bit go. It was a bad one. The mother said "Come here Rover".
Phew. She blamed the dog. I let a little bit more out.
"Come HERE Rover" she said again.
It seemed safe to let the lot go so I emptied the rest of it into the room.
"COME HERE ROVER" she said, "Before he craps on you as well".
I could feel some gas building. No chance of keeping it in so I let a bit go. It was a bad one. The mother said "Come here Rover".
Phew. She blamed the dog. I let a little bit more out.
"Come HERE Rover" she said again.
It seemed safe to let the lot go so I emptied the rest of it into the room.
"COME HERE ROVER" she said, "Before he craps on you as well".
Words for Making Fart Puns
A few handy words for emergency fart-punning. Perhaps to make a joke when one sneaks out in a lift.
fart, gas, plop, pong, poo, smell, stinky, toot, whiff, wind
fart, gas, plop, pong, poo, smell, stinky, toot, whiff, wind
Farting Over
That has exhausted all the gas on this page. It was a relief to let it out.
There is other content of a more fragrant variety on this site. Leave the door open as you exit this page and it will be pleasant for new arrivals.
There is other content of a more fragrant variety on this site. Leave the door open as you exit this page and it will be pleasant for new arrivals.