For All Your Ghost Pun Needs...
It is at this time of year when our thoughts turn to Halloween.
Yes, it is only May but the marketing needs to be organised several months in advance. That is why, despite the weather being bright and sunny outside, in here our team of ghost-writers is hard at work.
Creating spooktacularly awful ghost puns from morning until nearly one o'clock in the afternoon - these dedicated souls will be working their spiny fingers to the bone.
There is no time for ghoul-friends in this business!
Keeping our spirits high with thoughts of drowning our sorrows at the Witching Hour - we sit glued to our screens. If we weren't glued we could get up and find another job but that is how the devil (boss) likes it.
Oh... there is someone is at the door. Amuse yourself with some puns and jokes while I see who it is.
Yes, it is only May but the marketing needs to be organised several months in advance. That is why, despite the weather being bright and sunny outside, in here our team of ghost-writers is hard at work.
Creating spooktacularly awful ghost puns from morning until nearly one o'clock in the afternoon - these dedicated souls will be working their spiny fingers to the bone.
There is no time for ghoul-friends in this business!
Keeping our spirits high with thoughts of drowning our sorrows at the Witching Hour - we sit glued to our screens. If we weren't glued we could get up and find another job but that is how the devil (boss) likes it.
Oh... there is someone is at the door. Amuse yourself with some puns and jokes while I see who it is.
Puns and Jokes
App where you search for spirits? Pokemon Ghost.
What sort of glasses do short-sighted ghosts wear? Spooktacles.
Who do you call when the graveyard needs a spring clean? Ghost Dusters.
What do wolves call the 31st of October? Howl-o-een.
How do ghosts travel? On a ghost train.
What do you call a ghost who scares chickens? A poultry-geist. Or poultry-ghost.
Tasty recipe? Hungarian Ghoulash.
Who writes their biographies? Ghost-writers.
How do spirits keep fit? They exorcise.
Dead goat? Billy Ghost.
A sports-mad ghost went on a ghoulfing holiday.
Ghostly bird. Sea-ghoul.
Ghost floats into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve spirits".
What sort of glasses do short-sighted ghosts wear? Spooktacles.
Who do you call when the graveyard needs a spring clean? Ghost Dusters.
What do wolves call the 31st of October? Howl-o-een.
How do ghosts travel? On a ghost train.
What do you call a ghost who scares chickens? A poultry-geist. Or poultry-ghost.
Tasty recipe? Hungarian Ghoulash.
Who writes their biographies? Ghost-writers.
How do spirits keep fit? They exorcise.
Dead goat? Billy Ghost.
A sports-mad ghost went on a ghoulfing holiday.
Ghostly bird. Sea-ghoul.
Ghost floats into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve spirits".
From Around The Web
There are some awful jokes and puns out there on the internet. I was hoping to find bootiful ones but it was scary how spooktacularly bad some of them are.
Crossing Bambi with a ghost and creating Bamboo is nice.
Place where baby ghosts go during the day - dayscare centres.
Creature with webbed feet and fangs that quacks - Count Duckula.
Spooky White House? Fright house.
Crossing Bambi with a ghost and creating Bamboo is nice.
Place where baby ghosts go during the day - dayscare centres.
Creature with webbed feet and fangs that quacks - Count Duckula.
Spooky White House? Fright house.
Famous Ghosts
Seance Bean - actor
Boudica - ghostly Celtic queen
Matt Demon - actor
Spook Dogg - rapper
The Grateful Dead - very old rock band
Scary Grant - actor
Boo Marley - his spirit lives on
Meryl Shriek - scary actress
Steven Spellberg - film producer
Donald Trumpkin - orange fruitcase
Boudica - ghostly Celtic queen
Matt Demon - actor
Spook Dogg - rapper
The Grateful Dead - very old rock band
Scary Grant - actor
Boo Marley - his spirit lives on
Meryl Shriek - scary actress
Steven Spellberg - film producer
Donald Trumpkin - orange fruitcase
Ghost Films
Deer Haunter
Ghoulfellas
Good Will Haunting
The Ghostfather
The Ghostfather part II
Ghoulfellas
Good Will Haunting
The Ghostfather
The Ghostfather part II
Halloween Facts and Superstitions
All Hallow's Eve occurs on the 31st October each year.
Pumpkins are decorated by cutting a face out of them and putting a candle inside. Some people light the candle. These are called "Jack O' Lanterns" . Try saying it in a scary Irish voice. Now stop.
In some neighbourhoods children "Trick or Treat". The idea being to threaten people in a fun way until they give you a treat.
Sensible home-owners will buy a stock of chocolate and candy goodies to give to children when they come knocking. This will help ward off the evil spirits or little devils.
Halloween is a night for staying up late, eating treats until you are sick, behaving badly and listening to scary stories.
And it is great for children too.
Pumpkins are decorated by cutting a face out of them and putting a candle inside. Some people light the candle. These are called "Jack O' Lanterns" . Try saying it in a scary Irish voice. Now stop.
In some neighbourhoods children "Trick or Treat". The idea being to threaten people in a fun way until they give you a treat.
Sensible home-owners will buy a stock of chocolate and candy goodies to give to children when they come knocking. This will help ward off the evil spirits or little devils.
Halloween is a night for staying up late, eating treats until you are sick, behaving badly and listening to scary stories.
And it is great for children too.
Pumpkin Puns
What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
A leaping pumpkin is called a jumpkin.
Country relative - bumpkin.
What if it goes flat? Use a bicycle pumpkin.
Pumpkins who don't celebrate Halloween - grumpkins.
A leaping pumpkin is called a jumpkin.
Country relative - bumpkin.
What if it goes flat? Use a bicycle pumpkin.
Pumpkins who don't celebrate Halloween - grumpkins.
Knock, Knock...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
If you're going to cry I won't tell you.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
If you're going to cry I won't tell you.
Poetry Corner
It's not the cough that carries you off
It's the coffin they carry you off in.
It's the coffin they carry you off in.
Ghost Expressions
Some ghostly expressions for careful use.
You look like you just saw a ghost - said to someone who looks shocked, surprised or scared.
Not a ghost of a chance - not even the slimmest possibility of a good result.
Given up the ghost - died. Often used for appliances such as "My TV has given up the ghost".
Ghost poster - someone banned from a forum or social media without realising. They carry on posting but no one sees it.
Ghost town - a place that was once thriving but due to economic downturn has become an empty shell.
Ghostly Galleon. It's a galleon. It's ghostly. ed: You're fired.
You look like you just saw a ghost - said to someone who looks shocked, surprised or scared.
Not a ghost of a chance - not even the slimmest possibility of a good result.
Given up the ghost - died. Often used for appliances such as "My TV has given up the ghost".
Ghost poster - someone banned from a forum or social media without realising. They carry on posting but no one sees it.
Ghost town - a place that was once thriving but due to economic downturn has become an empty shell.
Ghostly Galleon. It's a galleon. It's ghostly. ed: You're fired.
Ghost Train Story
A ghost flew in through an open window. He swooped through a block of cheese and into the toaster.
"Oh no" I said to my ghoul-friend, "That looks like cheese on ghost".
We called the amusement park and they took it away. They are going to train him up to be a roller-ghoster.
"Oh no" I said to my ghoul-friend, "That looks like cheese on ghost".
We called the amusement park and they took it away. They are going to train him up to be a roller-ghoster.
Few More Puns
A ghost went to the doctor. The doctor said "I can't see you now".
What do you call a ghost on the ceiling? High-spirited.
Why can't ghosts sing? They got no soul. Guitar ghosts play the 12 bar boos.
Ghost audiences are always booing.
Why are ghosts rubbish liars? You can see straight through them.
A favourite treat? Ice scream.
Scary reindeer - cariboo.
What do you call a ghost on the ceiling? High-spirited.
Why can't ghosts sing? They got no soul. Guitar ghosts play the 12 bar boos.
Ghost audiences are always booing.
Why are ghosts rubbish liars? You can see straight through them.
A favourite treat? Ice scream.
Scary reindeer - cariboo.
End of the Puns
Boo - that's sad.
It is time for the ghost writer to climb back into his coffin and wait until the next witching hour. The alarm is set for five hundred years.
Until then - happy ghost punning!
It is time for the ghost writer to climb back into his coffin and wait until the next witching hour. The alarm is set for five hundred years.
Until then - happy ghost punning!
