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For All Your Ghost Pun Needs...

It is at this time of year when our thoughts turn to Halloween.

It may only be March but marketing needs to be organised months in advance.  That is why our team of ghost-writers is hard at work.

Creating spooktacular ghost puns from morning until nearly one o'clock in the afternoon - these dedicated souls will be working their spiny fingers to the bone.

All done with a skeleton staff.  No time for ghoul-friends in this business!

​Keeping our spirits high with thoughts of drowning our sorrows at the Witching Hour - we sit glued to our screens.  If we weren't glued we could get up and find another job but that is how the devil (boss) likes it.

Here are some fangtastic puns and jokes for ghost fans.

Puns and Jokes

Search for spirits on Pokemon Ghost
Short-sighted ghosts wear spooktacles

Graveyard spring-cleaning - ​Ghost Dusters​
Wolves on 31st of October - Howl-o-een

Ghost who scares chickens - poultry-geist
Hungarian recipe - ghoulash
Biographers - ghost-writers
Keep fit and exorcise

Dead goat - Billy Ghost
Ghostly bird - sea-ghoul
Some bars don't serve spirits

Travel on a ghost train

​Scary fruit - boonana

Famous Ghosts

Seance Bean - actor
Boudica - ghostly Celtic queen
​Matt Demon - actor
Spook Dogg - rapper
​
Scary Grant - actor
Boo Marley - his spirit lives on
Meryl Shriek - scary actress
Steven Spellberg - film producer

Social Media

Look for scary ghosts on Boogle or FaceBoo
Share them on InstaGhost or Spookchat
Update your info on SpookedIn
​
Put short videos on BooTube
Tell friends on Scareddit

Read about it in the Washington Ghost

Ghost Films

Casper - cute little ghost
Christmas Carol - Dickens and the past, present and future ghosts
Ghost - the one with the potter's wheel
Ghostbusters - don't cross the streams!

Halloween Facts and Superstitions

All Hallow's Eve occurs on the 31st October each year.

Pumpkins are decorated by cutting a face out of them and putting a candle inside.  Some people light the candle.  These are called "Jack O' Lanterns" ​.

​In some neighbourhoods children "Trick or Treat".  The idea being to threaten people in a fun way until they give you a treat.

Sensible home-owners will buy a stock of chocolate and candy goodies to give to children when they come knocking.  This will help ward off the evil spirits or little devils.

Halloween is a night for staying up late, eating treats until you are sick, behaving badly and listening to scary stories.  

And it is great for children too.

Pumpkin Puns

Fat pumpkin - plumpkin
Bouncing one - jumpkin
Country relative - bumpkin


If it goes flat use a bicycle pumpkin
Don't celebrate Halloween - grumpkins

Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter to get pumpkin Pi

Knock, Knock...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
If you're going to cry I won't tell you.

Ghost Songs on Boo Tube

Ghostbusters - who ya gonna call?
Ghost Town - Specials
Monster Mash - live TV with Bobby Pickett
​
​Spooky - Atlanta Rhythm Section
​Thriller - Jackson
​Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

Ghost Expressions

You look like you just saw a ghost - when someone looks shocked, surprised or scared
​Not a ghost of a chance - no chance at all
Given up the ghost - died
​

Ghost poster - someone banned from a forum or social media without realising
Ghost town - a place that was once thriving but due to economic downturn has become an empty shell

Few More Puns

A ghost went to the doctor.  The doctor said "I can't see you now"
​What do you call a ghost on the ceiling?  High-spirited
Why can't ghosts sing?  They got no soul
Guitar ghosts play the 12 bar boos

Ghost audiences are always booing
Ghosts make rubbish liars because you can see straight through them
Favorite treat - ice scream

​Scary reindeer - cariboo
Cross Bambi with a ghost and get Bamboo
Baby ghosts go to dayscare centres

End of the Puns

Boo - that's sad.  
​
It is time for the ghost writer to climb back into his coffin and wait until the next witching hour.  The alarm is set for five hundred years.

Until then - happy ghost punning!

​More Puns Here >>
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words and pics by Mark Ewbie © 2019

​
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