Law Puns for Legal Eagles
A page of law puns and legal humor.
Law and the legal profession will touch our lives at one point or another.
From buying a house to getting divorced, there is little chance of escaping the complexity and enormous bills that start with a visit to a lawyer.
It is often useful during lengthy legal proceedings to entertain yourself with a few funny puns.
There is value in humor and our financial advisers will be pleased to present you with an estimate of expected costs.
Law and the legal profession will touch our lives at one point or another.
From buying a house to getting divorced, there is little chance of escaping the complexity and enormous bills that start with a visit to a lawyer.
It is often useful during lengthy legal proceedings to entertain yourself with a few funny puns.
There is value in humor and our financial advisers will be pleased to present you with an estimate of expected costs.
Law is one of the oldest professions, arriving soon after possessions and marriage.
Unlike some legal verbiage this pun page is not written in Latin. This will allow normal people to read it without incurring additional costs.
The court of is now in session.
All rise for the puns.
Unlike some legal verbiage this pun page is not written in Latin. This will allow normal people to read it without incurring additional costs.
The court of is now in session.
All rise for the puns.
Puns
become a defense lawyer - can't see the appeal
collective noun: An invoice of lawyers
disbarred barrister - barista
embarrassed lawyer - "judge saw through my briefs"
escaped prisoner didn't finish his sen...
executioner pun was gallows humor
got my sandwiches out - another open and shut case
hangman's bungee rope was fake noose
incontinent lawyers regularly check their briefs
Jesus on trial - "As God is my witness"
lawfare - conducting warfare via the law
law is respected, unlike soliciting
legal lovers - courting couple
no bail for jailbird - flight risk
short trial - briefcase
scary legal female - mother-in-law
schoolkids suing - class action
smart jacket - lawsuit
toilet accident in court - judge said "I hold you incontinent"
collective noun: An invoice of lawyers
disbarred barrister - barista
embarrassed lawyer - "judge saw through my briefs"
escaped prisoner didn't finish his sen...
executioner pun was gallows humor
got my sandwiches out - another open and shut case
hangman's bungee rope was fake noose
incontinent lawyers regularly check their briefs
Jesus on trial - "As God is my witness"
lawfare - conducting warfare via the law
law is respected, unlike soliciting
legal lovers - courting couple
no bail for jailbird - flight risk
short trial - briefcase
scary legal female - mother-in-law
schoolkids suing - class action
smart jacket - lawsuit
toilet accident in court - judge said "I hold you incontinent"
Expressions
If you can't do the time - don't do the crime
I'll be the judge of that - make your own decisions
One law for the rich and another for the poor - you get the justice you can afford
The long arm of the law - they will reach you eventually
The only thing more expensive than a good lawyer is a bad lawyer
You might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb - aim high
I'll be the judge of that - make your own decisions
One law for the rich and another for the poor - you get the justice you can afford
The long arm of the law - they will reach you eventually
The only thing more expensive than a good lawyer is a bad lawyer
You might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb - aim high
Famous People of the Law
Attorney the Hun - ancient legal empire
Christian Bail - actor
D.A.Baracus - A-Team lawyer
Pro Bono - U2
Constable - painter
Judge Dredd - fictional action judge
Saul Goodman - Bob Odenkirk delivers
Jude Law - actor
Omar Sheriff - actor
Christian Bail - actor
D.A.Baracus - A-Team lawyer
Pro Bono - U2
Constable - painter
Judge Dredd - fictional action judge
Saul Goodman - Bob Odenkirk delivers
Jude Law - actor
Omar Sheriff - actor
Films about the Law
Brief Encounter - love and life are tough
Legally Blonde - sorority queen becomes a lawyer
Kramer v Kramer - divorce custody battle
Police Squad - Frank Drebin catches the bad guy
The Executioner's Song - Gary Gilmore
The Rainmaker - Matt Damon v insurance firm
Twelve Angry Men - courtroom drama
Legally Blonde - sorority queen becomes a lawyer
Kramer v Kramer - divorce custody battle
Police Squad - Frank Drebin catches the bad guy
The Executioner's Song - Gary Gilmore
The Rainmaker - Matt Damon v insurance firm
Twelve Angry Men - courtroom drama
Important Laws
Many important legal precedents have been established over the centuries.
Here are some of them.
Coles Law - instant salad to add to burgers
Law of Diminishing Returns - the more you try the less you get
Murphy's Law - if toast falls to the floor it will land butter side down
Sod's Law - similar to Murphy's Law but with more legal emphasis and less toast
ed: That's enough law
Here are some of them.
Coles Law - instant salad to add to burgers
Law of Diminishing Returns - the more you try the less you get
Murphy's Law - if toast falls to the floor it will land butter side down
Sod's Law - similar to Murphy's Law but with more legal emphasis and less toast
ed: That's enough law
Jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Irish Stew.
Irish Stew who?
Irish stew in the name of the law.
The judge who had no teeth - Justice Gums
My dad was a nun.
How come?
When he was up in court they asked for his occupation and he replied "none"
Who's there?
Irish Stew.
Irish Stew who?
Irish stew in the name of the law.
The judge who had no teeth - Justice Gums
My dad was a nun.
How come?
When he was up in court they asked for his occupation and he replied "none"
Judgement Day: Judge Loses It
State of Georgia vs Denver Fenton Allen - verbatim, hilarious and very rude arraignment extract.
Lawyer Jokes
There are thousands of lawyer jokes out there. Many come from disgruntlement but not all of them include humor. Here are a few that made me smile.
You're an expensive lawyer. If I give you $250 will you answer a couple of questions for me?
Sure. What's the second question?
Wanted to sue the airline for damaged luggage.
Lawyer said I didn't have much of a case.
Difference between a tick and a lawyer.
The tick falls off when you die.
Divorce lawyer: I have bad news and worse news. Your wife found a picture worth a million dollars
Customer: That's bad news?
Divorce lawyer: It's of you and your mistress
There are two types of lawyer. Those that know the law and those that know the judge.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 130?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Senator.
You're an expensive lawyer. If I give you $250 will you answer a couple of questions for me?
Sure. What's the second question?
Wanted to sue the airline for damaged luggage.
Lawyer said I didn't have much of a case.
Difference between a tick and a lawyer.
The tick falls off when you die.
Divorce lawyer: I have bad news and worse news. Your wife found a picture worth a million dollars
Customer: That's bad news?
Divorce lawyer: It's of you and your mistress
There are two types of lawyer. Those that know the law and those that know the judge.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 130?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Senator.
Social Lawyers
eBono - cut price law
LawBook - share life with friends and family
OnlyLawyers - for legal titillation
SnapShut - case is closed
TikTok - time is money
Writter (now X) - read other people's writs
LawBook - share life with friends and family
OnlyLawyers - for legal titillation
SnapShut - case is closed
TikTok - time is money
Writter (now X) - read other people's writs
Songs
30 Days In The Hole - Humble Pie
Breaking The Law - Judas Priest
Gallows Pole - Led Zeppelin
I Shot the Sheriff - Bob Marley
Peggy Sue - Buddy Holly
Breaking The Law - Judas Priest
Gallows Pole - Led Zeppelin
I Shot the Sheriff - Bob Marley
Peggy Sue - Buddy Holly
Words for Making Law Puns
Some handy words for making puns about the legal world.
appeal, attorney, bail, brief, case, contempt, court, damages, defend, exhibit, judge, jury, justice, law, lawsuit, lawyer, legal, prison, prosecute, sentence, sue, trial, try, witness, verdict
appeal, attorney, bail, brief, case, contempt, court, damages, defend, exhibit, judge, jury, justice, law, lawsuit, lawyer, legal, prison, prosecute, sentence, sue, trial, try, witness, verdict
I Rest My Case
The evidence has been submitted, proceedings are closed and it is time to wait for the court of public opinion to reach its verdict.
Meanwhile a large bill will be drawn up and sent to you for services incurred during the presentation of this page.
Meanwhile a large bill will be drawn up and sent to you for services incurred during the presentation of this page.