New Year Resolutions AZ
This New Year it is going to be different. Armed with a fine set of well-meaning hopeful resolutions our lives are going to change for the better.
This humorous set of resolutions from A to Z - plus the odd cartoon along the way - will (almost) guarantee a successful and prosperous year.
As the resolutions are not tied to any particular year they can be recycled endlessly until you stop bothering with them altogether.
Why bother with resolutions?
If you are at a social event of some sort, particularly with work colleagues and especially your boss, it is useful to have some great sounding, well meaning and ultimately futile response to the question "What's your New Year Resolution?".
Answering "Do as little as possible and enjoy myself at the expense of others" is not the best of ideas. This year could be a pay rise, promotion or if you are having the best New Year of your life - maybe that someone special to spend the rest of it with.
Let's get creative.
This humorous set of resolutions from A to Z - plus the odd cartoon along the way - will (almost) guarantee a successful and prosperous year.
As the resolutions are not tied to any particular year they can be recycled endlessly until you stop bothering with them altogether.
Why bother with resolutions?
If you are at a social event of some sort, particularly with work colleagues and especially your boss, it is useful to have some great sounding, well meaning and ultimately futile response to the question "What's your New Year Resolution?".
Answering "Do as little as possible and enjoy myself at the expense of others" is not the best of ideas. This year could be a pay rise, promotion or if you are having the best New Year of your life - maybe that someone special to spend the rest of it with.
Let's get creative.
Resolutions
At New Year we have our annual chance to start off with a clean slate. We may have spent all last year eating, drinking and lazing around but next year will be different.
So we make New Year Resolutions.
Some are a little vague. Be a better person. Listen to others more. Care about young people issues. These are good ones to make as they signify a willingness to improve but without specifics.
Other resolutions such as dieting, exercise and saving money can involve exact details. Less than 1500 calories daily, walk five miles, save a thousand pounds. Easily said as the last of the old year alcohol slips happily into your throat but will nag at you during that first hungover headache in the New Year.
So we make New Year Resolutions.
Some are a little vague. Be a better person. Listen to others more. Care about young people issues. These are good ones to make as they signify a willingness to improve but without specifics.
Other resolutions such as dieting, exercise and saving money can involve exact details. Less than 1500 calories daily, walk five miles, save a thousand pounds. Easily said as the last of the old year alcohol slips happily into your throat but will nag at you during that first hungover headache in the New Year.
Be A Better Person
I used to laugh at this vague wishy-washy aim because I already was perfect. It takes a while to realise you still have room to improve.
We all share this world and our lives cross paths with many people. Try to spread some happiness. A smile or kind words cost nothing.
We all share this world and our lives cross paths with many people. Try to spread some happiness. A smile or kind words cost nothing.
Career
You can be anything you want to be - if you are a Royal, celebrity or Daddy is a billionaire.
The rest of us need to work. Changing places of work or the type of work can be rewarding in financial and happiness terms. Look at the office in the cold dawn of the New Year and make some plans.
It does no harm to ask for a raise, improve qualifications through study, check the job opportunities or all of these and more.
The rest of us need to work. Changing places of work or the type of work can be rewarding in financial and happiness terms. Look at the office in the cold dawn of the New Year and make some plans.
It does no harm to ask for a raise, improve qualifications through study, check the job opportunities or all of these and more.
Dieting
After a Xmas and New Year blow-out it is time to brush off the healthy eating book. No more fast food, Only fresh vegetables. No crisps. Fresh water instead of Coke.
This new regime can last until you feel peckish and can't be bothered to shop, prepare and cook something.
This new regime can last until you feel peckish and can't be bothered to shop, prepare and cook something.
Drinking
Almost an ironic resolution to talk about while drinking the night away at a New Year party.
An excellent one for the day after - January 1st - as that hangover bites and the memories of what you said last night come back to haunt your thoughts.
Giving up drinking is a great idea. For health, social reasons and finances - stopping drinking should be a number one aim.
Or maybe limiting yourself. No drinking before 17:00 - unless there is a good reason to. And definitely no mad binging sessions unless your friends insist on it.
Try cutting down a little to start with and see how it goes.
An excellent one for the day after - January 1st - as that hangover bites and the memories of what you said last night come back to haunt your thoughts.
Giving up drinking is a great idea. For health, social reasons and finances - stopping drinking should be a number one aim.
Or maybe limiting yourself. No drinking before 17:00 - unless there is a good reason to. And definitely no mad binging sessions unless your friends insist on it.
Try cutting down a little to start with and see how it goes.
Exercise More
See Gym Membership. The dream of being fitter is an endless one. Actually getting up and doing it - that's a different matter.
Financial Aims
The New Year is a good time for clean slates and aspirations. Everyone can find room to improve their financial situation - from saving on extravagances to adopting a more frugal lifestyle.
Save towards a future thing, start putting money aside or try to get debt-free.
Save towards a future thing, start putting money aside or try to get debt-free.
Fireworks
Make it a resolution not to support or buy fireworks again.
If you care about animals you will know how much they suffer while the world around them explodes with bangs, light and smoke.
If you must have loud bangs and scary thrills try booking a visit to one of the many places around the world our governments are currently bombing. One wonders what their resolutions will be for the New Year.
If you care about animals you will know how much they suffer while the world around them explodes with bangs, light and smoke.
If you must have loud bangs and scary thrills try booking a visit to one of the many places around the world our governments are currently bombing. One wonders what their resolutions will be for the New Year.
Gym Membership
If everyone with a membership turned up regularly to the gyms they would be packed. Fortunately what happens is this.
At New Year or just after people decide to start exercising. Taking out a gym subscription will make sure they attend regularly and get fitter and slimmer as a result. By the time the holiday season arrives they will be beach ready.
After a couple of sessions many people stop going but leave the subscription running - just in case. That's how gyms make their money.
At New Year or just after people decide to start exercising. Taking out a gym subscription will make sure they attend regularly and get fitter and slimmer as a result. By the time the holiday season arrives they will be beach ready.
After a couple of sessions many people stop going but leave the subscription running - just in case. That's how gyms make their money.
Health
Most people could cut down calorie intake and exercise more. This could lead to less time sick and less money spent on expensive garbage fast food.
Honour's List
The UK has a New Year Honour's List where hundreds of people are given awards and titles. The idea is to reward citizens that have been of service to society, state and country.
In practice a few popular names from entertainment, sport and charity are given titles such as Dame and Sir. This pleases the public.
Further down the list are those that have been of use to the state - often by keeping their mouths shut.
In practice a few popular names from entertainment, sport and charity are given titles such as Dame and Sir. This pleases the public.
Further down the list are those that have been of use to the state - often by keeping their mouths shut.
Look Forward
Review the last year by all means and try to find some good bits. Apply the same to the coming year and look forward to another precious twelve months of your life.
Make the most of it.
Make the most of it.
Marathon
Decide at midnight that this year you will run a full marathon. Or maybe a half one. It is an aim that involves exercise, training, effort and dedication.
New Leisure Activities
There are an unlimited number of activities - sports, hobbies, arts and crafts, pastimes - that people engage in. Solo or team, expensive or cheap, sedentary or active - an endless range of things to do for fun, relaxation and socialising.
A New Year is an ideal time to think about taking one up.
And I am not just saying that because this site has a pretty large collection of illustrated pastimes complete with merchandise opportunities for added cool.
A New Year is an ideal time to think about taking one up.
And I am not just saying that because this site has a pretty large collection of illustrated pastimes complete with merchandise opportunities for added cool.
Saving Money
After the blowout of Xmas and the end of the old year starts a brief clean slate. Make a plan to economise in sensible and easy to achieve areas. Try to stick with the plan until February when you are entitled to maxout the credit cards again.
One way to save money without much effort or denial is to check small regular expenses. A daily coffee that costs a couple of dollars will add up to hundreds over the course of the year. Keep a note of what you spend over a month and make some changes.
One way to save money without much effort or denial is to check small regular expenses. A daily coffee that costs a couple of dollars will add up to hundreds over the course of the year. Keep a note of what you spend over a month and make some changes.
Selfies
Take less of them.
Smoking
Pity the poor smoker.
Each New Year they think about quitting and either fail or don't even try.
Years of hating yourself for smoking and being unable to stop. Countless remedies and books on the subject.
As an ex-smoker I am in a good place to offer limited advice.
Psychology says don't think about quitting - think about becoming a non-smoker. Make it a positive action rather than a denial relying on often flaky willpower.
Secondly - don't give up! Start vaping instead.
All the pleasure, habit and hit from cigarettes with fewer nasty effects. Yes it probably is not 100% safe. But it is way better than analog smoking.
Each New Year they think about quitting and either fail or don't even try.
Years of hating yourself for smoking and being unable to stop. Countless remedies and books on the subject.
As an ex-smoker I am in a good place to offer limited advice.
Psychology says don't think about quitting - think about becoming a non-smoker. Make it a positive action rather than a denial relying on often flaky willpower.
Secondly - don't give up! Start vaping instead.
All the pleasure, habit and hit from cigarettes with fewer nasty effects. Yes it probably is not 100% safe. But it is way better than analog smoking.
Social Media
Think about closing social media accounts and weaning yourself off the constant need to check likes and retweets.
Tolerance
Instead of preaching it - try practicing it.
Vegan or Vegetarian
A contribution to your own wellbeing, farm animals and the planet is to stop eating meat.
With substitute protein alternatives constantly improving there are compelling reasons to start with one meat free day and move up to seven.
Don't make a big deal out of it.
Just cut back and feel better.
With substitute protein alternatives constantly improving there are compelling reasons to start with one meat free day and move up to seven.
Don't make a big deal out of it.
Just cut back and feel better.
Washing On New Year's Day
One resolution that is easy to keep is to not do washing on the 1st January.
The superstition says that this action will bring bad luck including the possibility of washing away a family member.
Fair enough. Go back to normal on the second or maybe later.
The superstition says that this action will bring bad luck including the possibility of washing away a family member.
Fair enough. Go back to normal on the second or maybe later.
End of List
Next year one of my resolutions will be to make this page more extensive, funnier and generally wow.
It is no bad thing to try making a few New Year resolutions. Call it a review of where you could improve on the previous year.
The brilliant thing is that clean slate for a few brief moments in the New Year where intentions and actuality are in step.
Happy New Year!
It is no bad thing to try making a few New Year resolutions. Call it a review of where you could improve on the previous year.
The brilliant thing is that clean slate for a few brief moments in the New Year where intentions and actuality are in step.
Happy New Year!