Religious Puns for Good Karma
A page of puns, humor and cartoons about religion.
Religion has a lot to answer for in terms of wars and repression.
It also has a lot to be proud of.
God created the Heavens and Earth which is pretty cool. Way more than scientists ever achieved and they are still trying to figure out how He did it.
Religion funded a lot of pretty buildings across the world - churches, mosques, synagogues. The disagreements between beliefs helps to support the global arms industry.
This celebratory page attempts to respectfully find some humor and puns related to general religious stuff.
Amen to that and onward Christian Soldiers.
Or non Christian. All are welcome.
Religion has a lot to answer for in terms of wars and repression.
It also has a lot to be proud of.
God created the Heavens and Earth which is pretty cool. Way more than scientists ever achieved and they are still trying to figure out how He did it.
Religion funded a lot of pretty buildings across the world - churches, mosques, synagogues. The disagreements between beliefs helps to support the global arms industry.
This celebratory page attempts to respectfully find some humor and puns related to general religious stuff.
Amen to that and onward Christian Soldiers.
Or non Christian. All are welcome.
Puns about Religion
barefoot bachelor - no socks before marriage
devil comes home to a note - "sinner's in the oven"
do atheists believe in atheism?
exercising priests - prayerobics
food at the altar - shrine and dine
historic Christian tourists - Crusaders
hungry in hell - what's for sinner?
insect at Mecca - mosque-ito
Islamic fruit drink - Sunni Delight
Jesus suffered for our sins so we are free to enjoy them
movies about crucifixion - cruciflix
overweight Islamist - fatwa
Pope's bank account - PrayPal
pray for answers because heaven knows
priest wore fake beard and a wig - gave a blessing in disguise
religious construction toy - Meccano
religious rabbit - bible thumper
respectful insect - praying mantis
satanic insect - evil weevil
unholy shoes - got no souls
devil comes home to a note - "sinner's in the oven"
do atheists believe in atheism?
exercising priests - prayerobics
food at the altar - shrine and dine
historic Christian tourists - Crusaders
hungry in hell - what's for sinner?
insect at Mecca - mosque-ito
Islamic fruit drink - Sunni Delight
Jesus suffered for our sins so we are free to enjoy them
movies about crucifixion - cruciflix
overweight Islamist - fatwa
Pope's bank account - PrayPal
pray for answers because heaven knows
priest wore fake beard and a wig - gave a blessing in disguise
religious construction toy - Meccano
religious rabbit - bible thumper
respectful insect - praying mantis
satanic insect - evil weevil
unholy shoes - got no souls
Expressions
Hell is other people - Sartre
I can't believe it's not Buddha - advertising slogan
I can't believe it's not Buddha - advertising slogan
Films
Bruce Almighty - Jim Carrey, Morgan Freeman
Dogma - angel comedy / drama
Life of Brian - Monty Python at their finest
Papal Attraction - Pope boils a bunny for Lent
Dogma - angel comedy / drama
Life of Brian - Monty Python at their finest
Papal Attraction - Pope boils a bunny for Lent
Garden of Eden Fact Check
To prevent Fake News about this most important event here are some facts.
Adam, who was a decent bloke, was tempted by Eve and her ‘apple’. Let’s not mess around here – we all know what the apple was. Any red-blooded male would be sorely tempted by it. That is why women get blamed for men’s actions. It is what God wants.
Let’s not pretend that Eve was actually called Steve or Adam was even remotely interested. He wouldn’t be. That didn’t happen.
Nor were there two Eves because they might as well eat their own apples. Does a hot-dog contain two sausages? No it does not.
Adam was not called Saddam and Eve did not offer him a kebab. They were in the Garden of Eden not Tottenham High Street.
Adam, who was a decent bloke, was tempted by Eve and her ‘apple’. Let’s not mess around here – we all know what the apple was. Any red-blooded male would be sorely tempted by it. That is why women get blamed for men’s actions. It is what God wants.
Let’s not pretend that Eve was actually called Steve or Adam was even remotely interested. He wouldn’t be. That didn’t happen.
Nor were there two Eves because they might as well eat their own apples. Does a hot-dog contain two sausages? No it does not.
Adam was not called Saddam and Eve did not offer him a kebab. They were in the Garden of Eden not Tottenham High Street.
Religious Names
Charlotte Church - singer, activist
God - Father of Jesus
Jesus - Son of God
Evel Knievel - motorcycle stunt rider
Madonna - old singer
Muhammad - founder of Islam
Shirley Temple - singer, actress, diplomat
God - Father of Jesus
Jesus - Son of God
Evel Knievel - motorcycle stunt rider
Madonna - old singer
Muhammad - founder of Islam
Shirley Temple - singer, actress, diplomat
Noah and the Dinosaurs
Science blasphemists squeal excitedly about religion, evolution and the dinosaurs.
They accuse the Bible of not being an entirely accurate technical manual. Not Gospel in their words,
However, their false argument about the dinosaurs needs revising.
Noah had a very big boat and he saved a lot of the animals.
He did not have unlimited space on the Ark. He set quotas like our governments are fond of doing. Save the attractive rich ones and leave the others to their fate.
The dinosaurs, along with the Giant Worm and the Huge Hamster, were sadly left behind.
They accuse the Bible of not being an entirely accurate technical manual. Not Gospel in their words,
However, their false argument about the dinosaurs needs revising.
Noah had a very big boat and he saved a lot of the animals.
He did not have unlimited space on the Ark. He set quotas like our governments are fond of doing. Save the attractive rich ones and leave the others to their fate.
The dinosaurs, along with the Giant Worm and the Huge Hamster, were sadly left behind.
Social Media for Followers
ePray - secondhand sermons
FaithBook - share your beliefs with friends
Godgle - search for answers
InstaKarma - influencers try to attract followers
LinkedSin - careers for chasing the money god
Net666 - movies from the devil
OnlyPopes - for fans of Pope pictures
Painterest - create your fun suffering boards
Repentit - like Reddit but with shame
SnapChastise - morality pics with captions
Spiritify - music while you reflect
Sinder - hookup swiping for sinners
Wickedpedia - for all the evil in the world
YouTestament - video teachings
FaithBook - share your beliefs with friends
Godgle - search for answers
InstaKarma - influencers try to attract followers
LinkedSin - careers for chasing the money god
Net666 - movies from the devil
OnlyPopes - for fans of Pope pictures
Painterest - create your fun suffering boards
Repentit - like Reddit but with shame
SnapChastise - morality pics with captions
Spiritify - music while you reflect
Sinder - hookup swiping for sinners
Wickedpedia - for all the evil in the world
YouTestament - video teachings
Songs
There are a lot of hymns and chanting connected with religious movements but this section aims to find more modern popular culture references.
Highway to Hell - AC/DC
I Got You Babe - Sunni and Shia
Instant Karma - John Lennon
Karma Chameleon - Culture Club
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
Highway to Hell - AC/DC
I Got You Babe - Sunni and Shia
Instant Karma - John Lennon
Karma Chameleon - Culture Club
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison
Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - Charlie Daniels Band
Words for Making Puns about Religion
Here are some handy words for religious punning.
angel, atheist, belief, bible, bless, church, devil, divine, evil, faith, god, heaven, hell, holy, hymn, karma, kneel, lord, mecca, mosque, pilgrim, pope, pray, priest, religion, repent, Satan, shrine, sin, soul, spirit, synagogue, temple, vicar
angel, atheist, belief, bible, bless, church, devil, divine, evil, faith, god, heaven, hell, holy, hymn, karma, kneel, lord, mecca, mosque, pilgrim, pope, pray, priest, religion, repent, Satan, shrine, sin, soul, spirit, synagogue, temple, vicar
Sermon Over
Thank goodness the sermon is over.
I was dozing off when he was talking about all people being created equal. What a silly idea.
As for throwing the money-lenders out of the temple. No wonder they got fed up with Jesus.
On the subject of money, please put a small (or large) offering in the collection box as it comes round.
See you next Sunday.
I was dozing off when he was talking about all people being created equal. What a silly idea.
As for throwing the money-lenders out of the temple. No wonder they got fed up with Jesus.
On the subject of money, please put a small (or large) offering in the collection box as it comes round.
See you next Sunday.