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Swimming Puns

Swimmer with red hat doing the overarm front crawlSwimming Gifts >>
Swimming is a fun hobby and sport for health, relaxation and punning.

Having paused for a breather after several lengths of the pool it is time to gather some puns.

Diving straight in at the deep end these puns should make you gasp for air. 

Put your goggles on and jump head first into clear refreshing waters.  Er.  Web page.

Puns

Save up for swimfest - pool your resources
Rundown swimming pool is a bit of a dive
​Show off glamour puss - diva
​
​Swimming insect - butterfly
Aquatic elephants - swimming trunks
Swimming pool evidence - lido detector

Expressions

In the swim - involved in things
​Sink or swim - swimming is better
​Swimming with the fishes - Mafia threat

Names

Lady Godiva - horseback rider
​Cleo Laine - jazz singer
​David Schwimmer - Friends actor

Films

Changing Lanes - thriller
​Deadpool - comic fun
​Deathly Shallows - Harry Potter

​Lord of the Rubber Rings - Tolkien
​Shape of Water - it's rectangular
Splash - mermaid thing

Songs

Brothers in Armbands - Dire Straits
How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees

Old Jokes

Teacher: Tommy - you were peeing in the swimming pool
Tommy: Everyone pees in the pool
Teacher: Not from the top diving board they don't

Diner:  Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: The breaststroke

Don't go swimming when it's raining - you'll get wet

Time's Up

It may seem like you got less than a full hour in the pool but it was free.

Make sure you wash your feet on the way out and take dirty towels home with you.

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words and pics by Mark Ewbie © 2019

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